New beginnings
From Overwhelmed to Empowered: Why I Became a Parenting Coach
We all begin our parenting journey with hope: hope for new beginnings and dreams for our children. Even before a child enters our lives, however and whenever that happens, we’ve imagined a future for them, filled with love, joy, and possibility.
But for many of us, parenthood is not what we expected. It’s a shock to the system. Especially if you're someone who’s had a track record of success – in your education, career, relationships, hobbies, finances, or personal life – parenting can shake everything you thought you knew. It’s unlike anything else.
At 30, when I had my first child, I felt like I had done everything “right.” I was a successful businesswoman, working as a strategy consultant at Deloitte. I had completed both an MBA and an MPH. I lived in a small apartment in New York City while my husband – whom I met in college – was finishing his orthopedic surgery residency. I thought I was prepared. I thought I had life figured out.
And then came J, my firstborn son.
He arrived 15 days late, by induction and emergency C-section. He spent his first three weeks crying inconsolably: colic, they said. I couldn’t figure out how to breastfeed. I needed a lactation consultant. By four months, with my return-to-work looming, we had to start sleep training. Every day felt like a mountain I didn’t know how to climb. I was constantly overwhelmed, confused, and unsure of every decision.
During that first year of motherhood, I had regular meltdowns. Despite living in Manhattan, one of the most resource-rich cities in the world, with endless mommy-and-me classes, parenting meetups, and support groups, I felt painfully alone. Two close mom friends lived right down the hall. My parents were 40-minutes away. My in-laws were supportive. I had a village.
So why did I still feel like such a failure?
Looking back, I realize how individualized and isolating parenting can feel, even in the most supportive environments. Despite the wealth of information and community, virtual and in person, it’s easy to feel like no one understands exactly what you’re going through.
When J had colic, couldn’t sleep, wouldn’t latch, and I was recovering from major surgery, I felt completely disconnected from other new moms. Even though there were limitless resources out there on breastfeeding, tongue ties / lip ties, lactation consultants, insurance coverage tips, colic, probiotics, sleep routines, and countless approaches to sleep training (Ferber, Babywise, extinction/CIO, etc.) – I still felt lost.
Every time I found a new tip or method, my brain would go into overdrive. During the rare quiet moments, I’d be reading blogs, scanning forums, and trying to piece together answers to my endless questions. But the more I researched, the more confused I became. Everyone had a different approach, and while many made sense, I didn’t know which one was right for me. I tried them all. Rapid fire. Fail and repeat. I was too exhausted to keep track.
What I wish I had back then is what I’m now offering as a service.
A parenting coach.
Someone who would have met me where I was and took the time to understood my unique lifestyle, values, preferences, and circumstances. Someone who could research options for me, sift through blogs and meta-analyses, talk to experts and experienced parents, and then break it all down into something clear and manageable. Someone who could say, “Here are the main categories. Here are the pros and cons. Let’s talk through what fits best for you.”
That’s the kind of help I wish I had – and it’s the kind of help I’m now here to provide.